For almost two weeks now I have resumed my role as not only Mama to 2 under 2 but as wife to my husband and homemaker to our home. For a long while and for many reasons out of our control (that I will go into at a later date) we were married but living separately until recently. During these last several weeks I have taken it upon myself to resume my “wife/homemaker” responsibilities. It is a lot, as I feel I had just barely gotten the hang of being Mama to 2 babies. But I have to be honest, I kind of love it.
Do my feet and back hurt by the end of the night? Sure they do. But do I love having a clean home, cooking nutritious food for my family, having clean laundry, and a husband and babies who are happy and relaxed? Yes I do. And that is why I do what I do. Keeping the home running and picked up, running after our toddler and 5 month old, greeting my husband when he gets home from work, these are things that I’ve realized makes me happy.
More than making myself happy, I believe it is my duty as a christian wife to uphold the standards of a biblical wife. Not meaning that I do everything perfectly, I by FAR am not perfect. Today, I want to share with you some verses that I have found over the past few weeks and that I try to keep in mind during the day-to-day activities. The verse at the beginning of this post is a big one.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness to his bones.
Who wants to be causing that sort of turmoil!? For example, I do not want to cause my husband extra stress or worry. I do not want to go spending “££££” every week if we’re bringing in “££”.
Likewise, I do not want other people thinking I simply sit around the house all day. Watching TV, reading magazines, or doing God knows what. Our home is presentable, our clothes are washed, it smells nice in each room, and yes, I take pride in these things. It’s my job to build up our home not to simply sit back as it falls apart. I want to make my husband happy and proud that I am his wife.
Which leads me to this next verse which really kind of set my point of view.
The wisest of women builds her house.
Building up our home is my responsibility, to keep it inviting and “homey” is what brings me joy. I love spending time with my husband at night when he gets home, the kids are in bed, and the home is taken care of. On nights that I fall short, we end up doing separate tasks to get the house in order and while my husband ( bless his heart!) actually enjoys doing some of the housework, I do not like spending that time doing our own thing. I’d much rather be cuddled together, talking over a cuppa hot tea, or playing a card game. So, that is why I try to keep things rolling during the day.
On to the next verse that I believe is directed to us as women, wives, and mothers or even simply as mentors to the next generation.
(3) Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. (4) Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, (5) be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to follow the lead of their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the word of God.
In these verses, we are specifically told what kind of women we are to be. The kind of woman worthy of the younger generation watching and following our lead. We are told to be “busy at home” and to follow the lead of our husbands. These are not bad things.
Keeping the home clean and presentable, having meals prepared, schedules under control, and working from home on the side, juggling it ALL is far from easy but we are not called to just sit around all day doing much of nothing and have our husbands spend all their day out of the house earning the income, then have him come home to a mess of a house, no dinner, and a lazy wife. No, as Christian wives, we are to take care of the house and be the primary caregivers to our children. This does not mean that those who work outside of the home aren’t good wives. Sometimes it takes two incomes to support the lifestyle chosen. But right now, for us, this is what is working.
Our roles are for our benefit. As a male, most men WANT to be the provider and take care of their families financially. And as females, most women WANT to stay home, be there for every little milestone with the babies, cook a lovely meal, and keep their home welcoming. It’s in our nature for a reason. No matter how times change, as long as there are still families and family homes, I believe it is the role of the woman, the wife, the mother, to oversee the household affairs. My husband loves to help with the housework and that is A-OK. But it does not fall to him because I simply don’t want to do it or even ask it of him. He chooses to help around the house and for that I am extremely grateful.
Personally, I have read a lot of posts over at www.thetransformedwife.com written by Lori Alexander and I have to say, there are several posts that I find to be right on the money. I love being a housewife/homemaker, and even though I may only be 29 (almost 30), I see the importance of it and the benefits of it. If life and bills will support us, then I see myself continuing this path for a very long time.