There are many ladies (and even some men) who seem to think that getting married automatically means that the woman is some kind of slave to the man. This is NOT what marriage is about. The term slave is defined as “a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.” This does not a marriage make. A wise man listens to and considers his wife’s opinions. After all, as wives, we are our husbands helpers. We were created to help, not to be “slaves”.
Marriage is a partnership, to an extent. You are sharing your life together, possibly having children together. But, at the end of the day, your husband is to be the head of the household. This means that he will make the final decision on what’s best for the family in most matters. This does not mean that he doesn’t listen to his wife or that he is somehow her “owner”. Although, it does say in the Bible that the wife’s body becomes the husband’s as the husband’s body becomes the wife’s. “Becoming one”
As a team, I believe that a husband and wife should discuss things, weigh the pros and cons, pray about it and come to a decision together. However, in our marriage, I try to remember that if my husband stands firm on something, it is usually for a good reason and I am to follow him. And if his choice falls flat, I do not say “I told you so” or rub it in his face. We simply try a different way.
In the Bible there are several verses that talk about marriage and what it should look like. If we all looked to the Bible, to the Word of God, and lived our lives as representations of it, then I feel sure we would all have fewer issues within our marriages.
In Genesis, we are told directly that we were made to be a helper to our men.
Genesis 2:18-25
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.’ So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”
Now, many non-Christian people will try to argue that this could simply not be possible since men today have the same number of ribs as women do. To this I say, how do you know God didn’t add back a rib and then close up Adam? We don’t know if God decided to take from man so we would literally be part of man and then simply replace the rib. We don’t know. We don’t have ALL the answers. Any non-believer who expects a Christian to have ALL the answers is simply an idiot in my book. I know I don’t have all the answers, which is why I study a little every day. This is also where faith and belief come into play. I have faith in God and I believe the Word is true.
I digress, back to the main topic of this post. I found this snipit over on Tim Challies‘s website –
“When speaking of male headship, the Bible gives us the ultimate example of ultimate leadership. “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior” (Ephesians 5:23). The husband is to be head of his wife in the same way that Christ is head of his church. And what kind of headship did Christ offer the church? Was it harsh or loving? Was it domineering or gentle? Was it proud or humble? Christ loved the church so much that he never did anything harsh to her, he never did anything unfitting, he never did anything angry or unjust. He loved the church so much that he counted it as more precious than his own life. He gave up his own life so that she might live. This, Christ himself, is the model for you as a godly husband. If you wish to lead your family in a way that is faithful to Scripture, you will study the way Christ loved the church and you will seek to imitate your Savior.”
In Ephesians 5 we are also told many things about how husbands should love and lead our families including,
“He who loves his wife loves himself.”
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He laid down His life for her”
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Mark 10:9 says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Marriage is a commitment to another person. Ideally for the rest of your days. One man, One woman. Work the land, build up your home, grow your family. What’s so wrong with that? Why do the majority of people these days have to make things so difficult? Falling in and out of love like it’s meaningless, physically cheating and/or not being faithful within their minds, arguing about everything because both man and woman feel they should be in charge.
There is always a team leader on any team, ever! The husband is to be the family’s “team leader”, leading the wife and the children in the ways of the Lord.
As a wife with the privilege of working from home, the children and I spend parts of our day reading the Bible and singing hymns, my toddler helps me with light chores,( he loves loading the washer), I pray with them before nap time and before meals. Then when we sit down to dinner, my husbands says our blessing. When he is here, he is the leader, and in his absence I lead the best I can as “vice president” if you need another example, and when needed I consult him via phone or text.
We all know, accept and are thankful to my husband for being our “team leader”. Without him, things would be insanely more difficult. He is our rock and I love him for that. We all do.