I want to start by saying, this is not a space that I want flooded with negativity, nor do I wish to come on here and rant about something every day or even every week. Negative energy and negative thoughts are not things that I welcome into my life. However, they are there some days. I don’t know if it’s the rainy weather, being stuck indoors for the most part, or just pure frustration that I can’t seem to find a single mom friend here in the UK. Maybe it’s a combination, but that’s what today’s post is about.
This rant in particular is about “Mums” or at least the ones I’ve had the… pleasure (?) of meeting so far. Besides my sister in law, I have met about three moms since moving here to the UK. I met all three over at the park across from where we are living. Totally random, just playing with Boy or out for a walk and there they are. Sitting on the grass while their kids ran wild nearby. Boy runs over to play with their kids, he is drawn to a football (soccer ball) like a moth to a flame. So then, I end up having to go over and get him. I start talking with the other moms as Boy keeps playing with their kids, one boy looked to be about his age. Then I get to thinking that these “Mums” and I are hitting it off and the conversation is flowing quite nicely and they even request exchanging numbers. All is good. Until the awkward ending half an hour later where I say we need to be heading back and basically feel like I’m reminding them that they offered to exchange phone numbers. You know, the not so obvious “Didn’t you say you wanted my number?” Then they pull their phone out and you exchange info. Info to never be used on their part. Yep. Sure as a donkey’s kick, this happened to me three times!
Not once, not twice, but three times!
I mean come on people! Is this a British thing? “Mums” have their friends and don’t want anyone new coming into their group? My husband works every day. It’s just me, in the house, with both babes. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and I love being at home. But sometimes it’s nice to have another mom friend around. Especially one within walking distance who has kiddos around my son’s age.
I even went the extra extra mile to text them and say it was nice meeting them and hope we could do it again sometime. I’m only ranting about this now because it has literally been over three weeks and not a single text has come my way. Not for any mommy meetups, coffee runs, park hangouts, nothing, nada, ziltch. I have never had a problem making friends before, but maybe UK “mums” just aren’t as genuine. Or maybe it’s a COVID thing… oh who am I kidding? I MET these women out, at the park, during COVID times so why would that stop them now? Sheduling conflicts? How would they know without ever reaching out? I mean there are probably a million excuses but if you want to talk to someone, you can shoot a text. Period.
I tell you what, I use to have a best friend. I know what it’s like to have someone you can talk with, laugh with, and completely totally 100% be yourself with. There is nothing like that in the world. My husband is my bestfriend, for better or worse. But there is nothing like a best girlfriend. One who really gets it. Sadly we had a falling out that changed everything a few years ago, and I am not trying to replace that relationship. Nothing ever could, we’ve known each other since we were 5 and our dads even knew each other. That’s a long story I won’t go into more than that but, my point is this.
As moms, we all know it is a tough, stressful, emotionally draining job most days. Adding wife and entrepreneur to that and I’ve got myself a whopper! It would just be a dream to sit down with a cup of coffee, talk to someone who “gets it” while the kids play, and while we laugh our butts off over a card or board game.
And to my former best friend if you ever read this one day, long shot of that ever happening, but still…
I treasure you, you and all our memories from over 15 years of friendship. Some of the best memories of my entire life. I wish things could be different. I wish you hadn’t said the things you did. I wish you didn’t feel the way you do. I wish my moving didn’t cause you such anger and pain. I wish I believed you when you said you didn’t mean those things. I wish I could’ve just brushed this one off as I’ve done so many times before. I wish it felt the same when we hung out that last time. I wish it didn’t feel forced but could flow freely like it use to when we were younger. I wish I could trust you wholeheartedly again. But, because I can’t, I sit here wishing I could talk to you. I wish it felt the same as when we were 20, now that we’re about to be 30. Now that we both have babies. I think of us often. Oh, the fun we use to have and the trouble we would get into. haha. I will hold those memories close for the rest of my life.
I love ya and I miss ya girl. Hope you’re doing well.