“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast and is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Loving our spouses may not always be easy. But it is never conditional. Sometimes it can be easy to fall into the trap of, “Oh if he doesn’t do this for me then I’m not doing that for him.” Or, “If she doesn’t have dinner ready then I’ll be pissy and that’ll show her.” Anything along these lines is not the spirit of love that we are to have towards our spouses. And it is not how we, specifically as Christian wives, should be thinking or acting. We are to love our husbands, and ACT like we love them. Period. I sometimes struggle with this, I’ll be the first to admit. But when I read the verses above… it makes me think, am I like that? Do I love my husband like that? Our actions are our own. We can’t control how others act towards us but we can control how we re-act. One day, we will be held accountable for our own actions, no one elses.
Read the words in those verses above.
Now read them again.
Patient. Kind. Content. Humble. Honest. Giving of yourself. Slow to anger. Forgets wrongdoings. Rejoices in honesty. Patient. Protects. Trusts. Hopes. Perseveres. Never Fails.
Ask yourself, “Is this me? As a spouse, am I showing these characteristics everyday in my marriage?”
If you’re not, maybe become a bit more mindful. If you’re not sure, bring it up with your spouse. Maybe bring it up anyway, you may think your doing great but they may have other thoughts on the matter. Just communicate.
For me, the main issues lie within the patience, slow to anger, and forget wrongdoings areas. These are things I have to consciously make myself correct more often than I’d like. I know I catch myself becoming angry quickly and wanting to say certain things, or raise my voice. When those moments hit, I kind of have to talk myself down in my mind. Really pulling my actions into focus before things get out of control… I don’t always remember to do this and that’s why those areas need work. This happens once or twice on a weekly … okay maybe a daily basis. Either DH doesn’t “get” something that I’m trying to tell him, or he does something and I can’t understand Why In The World he would do it THAT way. Sometimes, it feels like he is talking to me with a certain tone and it just makes me want to snap at him! Usually, it builds up until I just can’t take it and I blow a fuse on him and he is stunned because he had “no idea” how he was acting was getting to me so bad. I mean, no one is perfect and I am far from it, but I do try. I take a deep breathe and more often than not, I just try to go with it.
Let me say this, DH and I are very different people. We often joke that we are exact opposites, which is actually very true to some extent. But that is why we work so well together… it’s also why we butt heads very often. I am trying to be more of a Proverbs 31 wife but it’s not easy. Where I fall short, he picks up, and vice versa. That’s how we get through. Being in a marriage is being part of a team. We chose each other and we continue to choose each other every day.
Love one another as Christ loves you.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Wives, respect and submit to your husbands.
Husbands run on respect and leading. Wives run on love and connection.
Remember love languages. They could change your marriage for the better.
Till next time,